Sexy

IMG_8617, originally uploaded by jaclynbailey.

It has occured to me that I don't veiw myself as sexy. I know that I am not ugly.... I also know that I am not America's top model..... but I used to think I was sexy. Now whenever I try to act sexy for my husband I feel silly and it puts me out of the mood! I don't know when it happened..... but it did.... Actually I don't even remember the last time I felt sexy..... I think it was shortly after Alexander was born.... I lost almost 60lbs after having him.... But slowly I have lost that feeling.... and I want it back! SO this picture is the start of the process of feeling sexy again......

Boys at play

IMG_8012, originally uploaded by jaclynbailey.

Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, having my kids so close together..... I worry that I stole away time that they should have individually gotten..... I worry that they are going to resent each other for the time that the other gets.....
Then I take a picture like this. And I realize that I have done the right thing. My boys are each others best friends!
Yes they fight sometimes... and yes sometimes they tell each other they dont love each other.... but I have seen them do things that tell me otherwise.... I have seen Alexander push down a kid that was giving Aeddon a hard time at the playground. I have seen Aeddon suckerpunch a kid that took a ball from Alexander. I have also seen them do really sweet non-violent things too. Alexander will regularly break his cookie in half and share with Aeddon if the dog stole Aeddons cookie (or even if Aeddon just gave it to the dog then cried foul!) I have seen Aeddon pet Alexanders head when Alexander wasn't feeling good.
And this doesn't just happen between the boys! I have come in to the room that Aeddon and Mikaela share only to find him in her crib cuddling her. I have seen him break of half his toast and put it on her highchair tray. Alexander loves her too! He will stop what he is doing and try to cheer her up if she is crying.... And if she grabs a handful of his hair and pulls it.... he doesn't get mad! He just smiles at her and slowly untangles his hair from her fist and tells her "It's ok. You are a baby and you are still learning! You can pull my hair if you want to." Seriously! How many 4 year olds are that good with their baby sisters? I don't know any others!

I guess that I am blessed. My mom says that it is because I have done a good job trying to keep things fair and trying to make sure that they all have special one on one time..... but I think that really I am just blessed. I think that God's plan for me had more to do with it than any kind of Wonder-Parenting on my part! Thank You God!

Our family and Nanny Joan.

Our family and Nanny Joan., originally uploaded by jaclynbailey.

I am so glad that my prayers were answered. Nanny Joan had been bedridden for over a week and I am so glad that she was able to get out of bed and spend some time with us before we had to head back to El Paso..... She is nearing the end of her life..... She has lived through alot...... she is 91...... so we are afraid that this will be her last Christmas. I wish she were going to be with us longer. She is an amazing person and has had some amazing adventures...... She gave birth to Owen's mom, Carole, during the german blitz of London during WW2.... She was in her third trimester when she was chased down the street by a german plane! I cant even imagine all the things that she has seen and done! She has traveled around the world! I am just proud to have been a small part of this proud womans history.