Down

My life is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it or what to write about. I have so much I want to say, but I don't know if this is the forum to air out all my dirty laundry and that is what I want to do cause the release would feel good. However if I were to do that I think it would blow up in my face and make all of this worse.

I am lost.

Rough.

The past three weeks have been rough for me. I got called suddenly down to Southern California to testify in a triple murder trial. I did my best to make the trip feel like a vacation for the kids, and in that vein I have some cool pictures to share with you..... but not right now.

Then we get back here an Owen is sick. Big nasty cold sick.

This weekend will be filled with trying to get Alexander caught up in school and getting Owen well enough to work next week.

I will do my best to tell you about the good stuff that has happened in the last three weeks over the next few days.

Saturday at the Pumpkin Patch

Saturday morning we rounded up the kidlets, shoved them into the van and headed out to the annual Madigan FRG trip to the Schilter Family Farm Pumpkin Patch. We have gone to this event in the past and loved it then so we HAD to go this year seeing as this will be our last fall here in Washington.



The day itself was crisp, but not cold. The sun was out and the sky was a fantastic shade of blue that I have only really ever seen here in the crisp months of mid-fall and mid-spring here in the Pacific Northwest.




The Schilter farm is a great all day activity. They have:
A fantastic pumpkin selection,



A petting zoo,



A hay bale maze,



A Giant corn maze(Owen says that is redundant.) a corn launcher, a kids play area with fun activities,



A kiddie train pulled by a small tractor that is strong enough to pull Owen holding Liam and a kid in every "car",



A hay bale ride pulled by a really big tractor,



Plenty of places for parents to take cute photos of their kids,



A picnic area to eat at, (they had a slightly pricey, but very tasty place to buy food at if you did not think to bring your own....)


(ps. That is Owen's First Sergeant.)

A pyramid of hay bales to climb on,



And of course a shop to buy your pumpkins and all sorts of other farmers market type things from.



We came home with a pumpkin (26lbs for 29 cents a pound!) Apple Butter, Blackberry preserves, Carmel Corn Nuggets, a baby tiger pumpkin, two bags of cotton candy and something else.... oh yeah! Ring pops!

It was a day well spent.

Stop Begging me!

I dont know where he got the idea... but Aeddon has been begging me for a pair of mittens lately. Like every day, five times a day begging. Well I couldn't start a project I wouldn't finish in time to get full class points in the HPKCHC.... so I waited till new "classes" were posted and cast on the mittens for Aeddon.



I actually finished the knitting in about 2 days (what I have kids... plus I actually knit 3 gloves... Just because a pattern says it is the right size doesn't mean your kid fits the size designated for their age! oops.) but was unable to finish them since my darning needle went missing! (yeah I know. What kind of knitter owns one darning needle!)





I think he loves them!

A quick hello

Not much going on around here. Our van is out of commission. A piece fell off! A piece of the brakes... which I have been told is super important and therefore makes the van unsafe to be driven.

Also my Camera is in the shop. Again. See the last time I had it fixed I told them that I thought the focus ring crack was a problem and that I was pretty darned sure it was sticking a bit when I tried to zoom in on stuff. The guy basically told me I was being dumb and that of course it was sticking a bit... they had just worked on it!

Thanks idiot. You were wrong! Hours after getting my camera home a bracket inside the lens came loose! It moved around in there and I tried to pretend it didn't happen... but it became impossible to take a decent picture... so back to the shop it goes!

In all the time I am spending not going anywhere or taking pictures of stuff I have been knitting... and playing WoW a little. This is a shawl that will be a Christmas present, but I am not telling who it is for. I know she probably wont see it, but still.



Pretty right? The shawl is the Traveling Woman shawl and I love the pattern! I will probably knit more of these at some point! Maybe even one more will find its way into my Christmas knitting pile.

That is all I have for now... Oh yeah! I started a Twitter account today. Look me up. JaclynBailey13.

I want to do this!

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Owen and I have been going through a rough patch financially (who isn't right?) and I am finally admitting to myself that I need to do something to help bring in income. However with my health being what it is, I can not at this time work a "job".

So I would like to craft for money. I am looking to open an etsy store... but I lack the funding you buy the yarn to get started or the money to open the etsy store itself. So this is my thought:

I would like to craft for you. Please look through my pictures and tell me what you would like me to make for you. Then we can figure out what yarn to buy and I will craft for you for money. Then I will take that money and use it to begin the process of getting the stock I need to have my own online shop. In that way you can support this woman's goal of having her own shop without me asking for something for nothing!

Take a look at things I have made in the last three years. If you see something you like, let me know and we will talk.




Hope to talk to you soon!

How cool is this?

Every time Owen gets a craving for soda I feel bad about all the cans. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they all ended up in the recycling can when he was done with them.... but I end up picking up at least 5 of his empties off the couch (and honestly 1 or 2 of mine off my desk!) I also worry since we both really have to loose some weight. See if he got a craving and bought a 2 liter bottle we would be fine... but he doesn't. He buys a 24 pack and we polish it off by the end of the weekend!

Then my friend and OCAC reporter Jenn Vincent sent me a link to an article.... It was for a contest to win a counter top soda fountain.



I have to admit that my interest was immediate. A counter top soda fountain with the versatility to make soda drinks... sparkling water and sparkling juice drinks and it has a footprint smaller than a coffee maker! Of course I immediately entered the contest and now here I am blogging about it to get a second entry! Right now the entry pool is small so I have a decent shot at winning! Normally I would tell you to head on over and enter... but I dont want the competition!

Ok. I can't be that selfish! If your interest is piqued... go and read Jenn's article... then read all her articles! I love that girl!

A new year begins

Today is Alexander's first day in the first grade. He walked all by himself. In the rain.

I am so proud and sad all at the same time!

Enjoying the last few days of Summer

This fall most of the children will be in school at least part of the time so we have been doing our best to enjoy the last days of summer. As a side note most of our yearly passes to places will be expiring as the summer does. Of course that means our days off (Owen works you know!) are spent like this:



and this:



and this:



With the return of fall I expect to find the return to regular blogging and a more regular sleep cycle. I also find that I am more creative when I feel time constraints. I have heard it said that that would make me a good professional crafter. I would love that....

I know you have said it before...

I know that you all have told me before that I dont owe you an explanation when I drop off the face of the world... but I still want to give you one.

I have been having a very hard time lately. Alexander has been gone in California with both his sets of grandparents since the 5th of July. I miss him terribly.

That is of course just the tip of the iceberg. Now add that to the fact that my marriage has been in serious danger of ending (I made plans to move out with the kids and go on without him!) which seems to have been resolved... but I have been fooled before...

Then add to that the fact that the Dr. told me that there is no medical reason that he can find that I should still be able to walk... and that that ability could change at any time if I am not careful...

Then add to that the fact that we are a family of 6 on one income and when Owen gets depressed he spends money we dont have on stuff we dont need... putting us around $1700 in the hole behind on our bills....

And what you get is a woman who wants to crawl into a hole and disappear for forever. I dont wanna die. I just want to disolve into the earth... Do you know what I mean or are you debating calling 911 for the safety of my children? (who I assure you are the one thing going really right for me! I get out of bed each day to care for them and make them as happy as possible!)

I am gonna try to be better for you guys though... You all got me through my PPD... and I am willing to bet that you could get me through this too, if I let you! Much love to all of you!

p.s. I have most of the rest of my trip to Utah written up and just havent posted it yet. I feel like a slacker!

Then there was a Saturday...

Saturday ended up as a day of rest... sort of. We sat around most of the day and then Poppa decided to take me out to see Tuacahn.... Which is a theater that shows everything from small productions to traveling Broadway plays. It is an outdoor venue, which I suppose could cause some issues... but I thought it was really awesome.

This is the view from the back of the theater.



This is the view of the whole theater.



While we were walking around we found two of those boards that have the holes cut out for you to put your head through.





If you are thinking that I look a bit strained in the second picture... that is because I am holding Liam down at the bottom and trying to keep my head in the hole!

As we were leaving we noticed some people struggling with a table. Poppa offered to help and then when he was done a lady asked him if we would like to go to the nights show of the BYU International Dance group and Band thingy... We took the tickets to be nice. Then we went and checked and realized that the seats were actually in a really awesome place. SO we headed out to head home and get ready to go back out there that evening.



If you know me at all you know how much this picture of Devon reminds me of me. It is awesome to know that even though we just met and have spent our whole lives apart Devon and I share a lot of traits. Like the need to walk on the edges of water fountains...

The view as you are driving away from the theater is really amazing too.



We raced back home and had a light snack. We got dressed a little nicer and somehow managed to convince Chase to come along.

I would love to show you pictures of the dancing itself.... but I wasn't allowed to use my camera at all once I walked into the theater. Not even to take a picture of us all before the show!

At intermission we realized that the rest of the show was pretty much going to be the story of Mormonism in dance and some folk dancing from countries that I had no real knowledge of other than to know that they exist. We decided to leave at that point since it looked like Liam might be getting a little sleepy. Of course we couldn't help but take one more picture of the three siblings (maybe one day I will figure out how to get one of all four of us!)



We ended our night by going and having a burger at this place that was really good... but just not the same as In 'n Out.... I am not complaining... Just pointing it out...

Then it was off to the house and sleep.

A message from Liam.

cxcb jhbg bb uyuuu0-6-0cdo4 6l HJ(*87lcpo90p----------------------------------------------------sdwer222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222223anJ"fgvbrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttttttttt

So then....

The plane ride was mostly uneventful. We took off almost a half an hour early. Liam didn't fuss or anything! So, of course, right as I was settling into the flight being uneventful Liam threw up all over me. In all my planing to be sure I had plenty of diapers for the trip it had never occurred to me to be sure we each had a change of clothes in the carry on bags! The person sitting next to me (in first class!) slept through the whole thing, which I suppose is good. The flight attendant did her best to help me get Liam and myself cleaned up. Then as soon as the mess was cleaned Liam fell asleep and remained asleep until it was time to land.

The plane landed and we rode a tram to the baggage claim area. As we got to the bottom the escalator going to baggage claim I saw someone I thought I recognized from behind. And I was right. Poppa turned around and it was smiles and hugs all around. We grabbed my bags and Liam's carseat and headed out to the truck.

The two hour drive from the Vegas airport to St. George was mellow. We chatted and Liam slept.

When we got to the house I met Sandy, Lisa's mom, Lisa and Tink.



Tink HATED Liam and barked at him the entire weekend. By the time we left she had tried to bite him!

Anyways. After dropping off my stuff and changing Liam we went out to buy a pack n play for Liam to sleep in and some tennis shoes for me to wear while there. ( I only brought flip flops.)

When we were done with the shopping we headed back to the house and were excited to find that Devon, my 10 year old half sister, and Chase , my 19 year old half brother, were home from school. More hugging and smiling ensued.

That afternoon there was a carnival at Devon's school that Lisa had been in charge of. We all went to the carnival and had lots of fun.

Devon took Liam down a bouncy slide.



We went and had his hair sprayed green like the other kids.



Liam spent time bonding with his new Grandma Lisa.



Chase and Devon had a silly string fight.



Liam spent the rest of the time we were there switching off between his Grandpa and his Uncle Chase.





Then we all headed back to the house and just kinda hung out till it was time to go to dinner. We went to an burger place and I gotta say their burgers were good. Not In-n-Out good.... but good.

After dinner Chase went and hung out with his friends and the rest of us relaxed watching some tv and then headed to bed.

The Most Important Flight.

I did it again. I dropped a bomb and then forgot to come back and do damage control.

So here are the details. On January 6th my brother, Orion, called me and said "you are never going to believe this. I just got a friend request from a kid named Chase St. Thomas who claimed to be our half brother and a message from Richard stating that Chase is in fact our brother and that they will not push contact on us, but that things were not as they seemed and Chase had been waiting his whole life to meet us."

As soon as I stopped freaking out a little I hopped right on to facebook and looked them up. I sent both of them a message asking if they had sent my brother a message, cause if they had... I was the sister of Orion and that made me the daughter/sister they were looking for.

About a half an hour later I was chatting with both Chase in Utah and Richard on the island he was on for work.

Over the course of the next few months I spent every available waking moment talking to Richard. By the end of January I was calling him Poppa like I had when I was a little girl.

I had everything a girl could wish for. I had more family. Family that had always wanted me. Family that, when told I was going to be moving in with them cause my mom couldn't handle living with me anymore, moved things around in their house as fast as they could so I would have a room ready and waiting for me when I got there. Family that waited and waited for me to show up.

I never came.

Now that has changed. I don't know if you know this about me but I have an amazing ability to accept, forgive and adapt. I don't hold grudges. I can't. I have lived through to much. So I decided that whether or not Poppa's story was true (and as it turns out large chucks of it are...) or my moms story she had always told us was true (as it turns out large chunks of it were incorrect.) I was going to let it all go and just love the people God had put in my life to love me.

As the time drew closer and closer for Poppa to come home from the job he was working overseas, he and I began to plan a way that I would be able to come down to Utah to meet my new family face to face. Several attempted plans fell through. Finally it was decided that I would come down the weekend after Easter first thing friday morning and that I would return that Monday. Plans were finalized. Plane tickets were purchased.

This was it. I was going to meet the Step-mom I had a vague idea about. I was going to meet the brother and sister I had no idea existed until January 6th. (yes technically they are half brother and sister, but so is Rachel and that has never mattered so why should this?)

Now all I had to do was get on a plane with Liam (who had to come since he is still nursing). Our bag was packed. We were ready. Owen and the kids dropped me off at Sea-Tac and helped us check in our luggage. We went through the security checkpoint and rode the tram out to the plane. When we got to the terminal the plane was already boarding, so we quickly got on board. I sent out a picture message letting everyone know that we were on the plane and that the doors were closing. Poppa sent back that he was hopping in his vehicle and heading south to get me.

I was committed. No going back now...

So you remember when I said....

So do you remember when I said that something life changing had happened to me and I didn't tell you what it was? If you said no, here. Go ahead and look. I'll wait.

Ok. So I told you that something life changing had happened and then guess what? I never told you!

And then I finally realized I never told you and stated the obvious. Go me.

Well now I am ready to tell you what happened. You ready? Really? Are you sure??????




This is what happened. I gained an entire family. Want to know the best part? I am related to them by blood... that man not in the cap and gown??? Yeah. He is my biological father. The one I thought abandoned me.

I think I will let you chew on that for just a minute while I prepare the post about going to visit them right after Easter.

Oh! Hello!

I have missed you all. We had to shut our internet down for a while. It was that or our phones. We decided I could live without the internet for a month. But now I am back and have stuff to share!

First I will share Easter.

As is standard to our life in the military, Owen missed the majority of yet another Easter!. This time he had training all weekend. He was supposed to be home by noon.... but as is almost always the case with the Army some bonehead ruined the fun for everyone else!




Just as we decided we couldn't wait to start the fun any longer, Owen called and said it was time to come get him. We waited till the first set of eggs was ready to come out of the dye.



Mikaela's favorite colors were the "girly ones" and green.



Alexander stuck to what I like to call the "midnight colors" Deep purple, deep blue and the dark turquoise blue.



Aeddon wanted the bright colors. The orange, yellow and cyan blue.



Liam was a little to young to dye eggs and just sat there happily watching the whole affair!



As soon as the eggs were all dyed Owen went very quickly out and hid half of them for the kids to find. 6 each for the older kids. We had to work fast and look fast for two reasons. Reason number 1 is that it was about to be dark. Reason number 2 is that it was about to start pouring with rain!








After the hunt we did baskets. We don't do the Easter bunny here. We told the kids it is because the Easter bunny cant get on post cause he doesn't have the security clearance!

After that we did a relatively normal dinner followed by some strawberry shortcake made with angel food cake.



Liam LOVED the angel food cake!

That was pretty much the adventure that was our Easter!