Conversations with a 4 year old...

Conversation One:

Alexander: Mom.... where are your ear jewels?
Me: You mean the earrings you and daddy bought me?
Alexander: Yes
Me: I took them off cause my ears were itchy.
Alexander: Did you throw them in the trash?
Me: No. They are in my jewelry box.
Alexander: The one that is up high in your room?
Me: Yes Alexander
Alexander: That is a smart idea Mommy! Cause little boys break shiny things. That is why I am not a little boy anymore.... cause I know that if I break your shiny things that you cry and then I have to die.
Me: Alexander you are very silly.
Alexander: That is cause you are my Mommy!

Conversation 2:

Alexander: Mommy I promise that I am going to live with you for forever!
Me: That is not true. Some day you will grow up and find a girl to love and marry and then you will move out and you will be a Daddy! But you know what?
Alexander: What Mommy?
Me: I will always be your Mommy. Even if you move to the moon when you grow up!
Alexander: Mommy.... since I am going to live on the moon...... (really long pause)
Me: Yes Alexander?
Alexander: (very softly) Do you think you could move to the moon with me so that we can still cuddle and you can cuddle my babies?
Me: Yes baby. I will move to the moon with you.
Alexander: You are the best Mommy I ever had!
Me: I am the only Mommy you have ever had!
Alexander: That is cause you are the best.
Me: I love you.
Alexander: I love you too..... forever.

Conversation 3:

Alexander: Mommy if I am going to be a Daddy some day does that mean I have to get married?
Me: Well, Sort of. It is best to be married to someone you want to spend forever with before you become a Daddy.... But it is not the only way to be a Daddy.
Alexander: If I ask you how I can be a Daddy by myself, will you tell me?
Me: No. You are to young to understand right now.
Alexander: Ok. I dont think I am ready to get a job yet anyways.

Conversation 4:

Alexander: Mommy, when I grow up can I be the Daddy with you?
Me: No. You are my boy. That would be silly for us to get married.
Alexander: Do I have to marry someone else?
Me: Yes. Someday.
Alexander: Can I marry Alex?

(Alex as in my friend Stephanie's daughter Alex... who is about to turn 16...)
Me: Sure honey.
Alexander: Can I marry Liz if she promises not to have a fit?

(Liz as in Heidi's 9-ish year old daughter....)
Me: Sure honey.... but you cant marry both of them.
Alexander: Why not?
Me: Cause that is called Poligamy and is illegal.
Alexander: So I would go to jail.
Me: Yes Alexander. If you got caught.
Alexander: Ok I will just marry you then.
Me: Alexander you can't marry me! I am your mom. That is illegal too!
Alexander: Why is fun stuff illegal?
Me: Cause that is the way the world works. If it is to much fun it must be wrong!
Alexander: Fine I will just marry Liz then. It wont be any fun... so it wont be illegal!

Conversation 5:

(Happened just now while I was typing the first 4 conversations!)

Alexander: Mommy what are you doing?
Me: Writing in my blog.
Alexander: What is a blog?
Me: It is like a journal online that I let my friends online read.
Alexander: What are you writing about?
Me: You.
Alexander: What are you writing about me?
Me: I am telling them about the stuff we talked about this morning.
Alexander: Are you making fun of me?
Me: No. But they will think it is funny.
Alexander: So your friends are going to laugh at me?
Me: Maybe a little. You are funny.
Alexander: Your friends are kind of bitchy.
Me: Where did you learn that word?
Alexander: God told it to me just now.
Me: Dont say that word anymore. It isnt nice.
Alexander: But it is true. So if I dont say it then I am lying. Which is wrong. So if I can't say bitchy and I cant lie.... what am I supposed to say?
Me: If you cant say something nice.... dont say anything at all.
Alexander: I am gonna go to my room and play with my mouth closed.
Me: Ok. You go do that.
Alexander: Are you gonna tell your friends I said bitchy?
Me: Yep.
Alexander: (deep Sigh)
Me: What Alexander?
Alexander: I cant say anything.
Me: Why?
Alexander: Cause it isnt nice. Goodbye Mommy.
Me: Goodbye baby.