Monday, June 30, 2008


26. I never did my homework in high school. I got good grades on my tests but still failed alot of my classes due to my inability to complete and hand in the homework. I did not see why I should have to do all that busy work if my tests reflected that I knew the material. For the most part my teachers disagreed.

27. My favorite teacher was Mrs L. Batchelor. She was an English teacher. She was my English teacher for 8Th grade. When we moved up to the High School she moved up too. She was my English teacher for 9Th grade English.... both years that I took it.

28. I tried out to be a cheerleader my freshman year (technically the auditions were in April of my 8Th grade year....) I didn't make the team. I thought it was because I had been hit by a car in a bike accident 4 days before tryouts (the second time I was hit by a car, I was fine... mostly scrapes and a sprained arm) and that they had held my slightly hindered mobility against me. Turns out I wasn't the right size.

29. Remember Jason from # 22 and 23? Well he got his Letterman's jacket our freshman year. He got his motorcycle our sophomore year (I think...) I was in love. When it would get to hot for him to wear his Letterman's jacket during the day I would take it and wear it .(we lived in Southern California. It is usually to hot for a Letterman's jacket...) At the end of the day I would meet him at the flagpole and give him his jacket back. I always thought about ditching last period so I didn't have to give it back. I always gave it back. I was always dizzy when I did. He never figured out that I wore that jacket that smelled like him and made me look so small in 90 degree weather cause I wished it was his arms wrapped around me instead of just the arms of his jacket. I never saw him again after graduation. He found me on Myspace a year ago. He said that he had had the biggest crush on me in High school and had worn his jacket to school everyday cause he liked to see me in it. He never said anything cause he thought I was still angry about him dating Ginny in Jr High. Boys are dumb sometimes.

30. I had several other crushes in High School. They were Ryan, Edward, Dustin, Travis and Eric. Not one of them liked me back.... or if they did they never told me. I never had a boyfriend in High school. I never went to a single "couples" dance.

31. My brothers friend, Mark, and I accidentally threw my brother off a 40 foot cliff once. We were throwing industrial sized saw horses off a cliff on this guys ranch and Orion's shirt caught on the saw horse. He and the saw horse tumbled down the hill, over really sharp rocks and through a patch of cactus. The saw horse weighed over 150lbs. Orion walked away with alot of bruises, alot of cuts and scrapes and a few cactus needles stuck in his skin like splinters. He didn't cry or get mad at us. My brother has balls of steel.

32. I was in show choir in High school. No I don't have any pictures to show you.... my mom might. I was often given up as the proper example of how to apply show make-up and style show hair. I did the make-up of several other girls before shows and competitions.

33. I had surgery on my feet when I was 16. I went to school 2 days later. I should have stayed home. Someone crashed into me in the hallway between classes and popped one of my stitches. I didn't tell anyone cause I didn't want my mom to say "I told you so". The scars on my feet are way worse than they would have been if I had stayed home to recover.

34. My guidance counselor did a better job teaching me math than my math teachers ever did. I failed classes on purpose so I could take the summer school course with him. They wouldn't just let me take the classes in the summer to begin with, so I had to fail.

35. I was in color guard. I went to band camp. To bad for us band camp was at school. No interesting stories to tell.

36. My friends all thought that the band director had a crush on me. He saw me in a bra and no shirt several times. They were all accidents of really bad timing. I was usually the slowest dresser and usually had earphones in so I didn't hear him ask if he was clear to come on the bus. He would have waited if I had said I was still half nekked. I usually stood up to put my shirt on just as he came up the stairs. Poor guy. Hard not to look when all of a sudden there are young, large breasts in a black lace bra right in front of you. He turned bright red every time it happened.

37. The pianist for choir was Ms. Patti. I think that she knew that I cant read music. When we would be getting new sheet music she would quietly play just the alto part for the music. I had it memorized after that. I have good pitch and a good ear. I am pretty sure she did it for me specifically. I sat in on other choir classes once. She didn't do that in any class but mine.

38. I learned to hate Romeo and Juliet in High School. Ryan ruined it for me. Thanks ass.

39. I was not allowed to wear more than one article of black clothing at a time in High School. (shoes didn't count) My parents were afraid I was gonna end up one of those Gothic freaks (SNORT..... COUGH..... Choke...... LAUGH!!!!!!) That worked out well for them.

40. I was not allowed to shop in Hot Topic as a teenager. (See #39) My mom signed a petition to have "that devil worshipping store" removed from the Brea mall. I applied to work there when I was 18.

41. The worst day of my childhood life was August 17Th 1999. I wont go into details.... but bad stuff happened and when all was said and done I was arrested for Assault and Battery with a deadly weapon. Wanna know what the deadly weapon was? A seam ripper, which I tossed into the hallway completely closed. To bad that the person I was fighting with was just coming out of the laundry room and thought that I had purposefully thrown it at them. To bad the cap popped off as it hit the wall so that they thought I threw an opened seam ripper at them. What? You don't even know what a seam ripper is? Here is one. Keep in mind that the whole thing is usually about 3 inches long and the "blade" for cutting stitches is usually less than half and inch.

42. I spent the next two weeks after August 17Th in Maximum Security juvie after that. Do you know who was in max security with me, the seam ripper thrower? Rapists and murderers and drive-by shooting gang members and drug dealers, all of whom were under the age of 20.

43. I was "convicted" of a misdemeanor assault and battery. I lived with friends for a few months while they found me a group home close enough to my school. I lived in the group home till the day I turned 18. Then I moved out and into my Nana's house.

44. My record DISAPPEARED the day I turned 18. If you try to look it up, I was never even in the system. Turns out that my group home was a safe house. That means an unlisted group home that worked kind of like the witness protection program for kids. So to keep its existence a secret my record disappeared. I have had several background checks (my husband joined the army post 9-11) and not even the Army found my record.

45. I used to sneak cigarettes into my group home. I cut a very small hole in the pocket lining of my pea coat and slid the cigarettes in there. When they would check my jacket the cigarettes were hidden in the inside of the bottom hem of the jacket. They never once caught me. I sold one cigarette and one strike anywhere match for 3 dollars. I never bought the cigarettes. I would ask a middle aged man walking into the circle k up the street to pick me up a pack on my way from the bus stop to the group home. Not one of those nice men ever asked me for money for my cigarettes. I never smoked the cigarettes I got. ( I didn't smoke for the first time till I was 18. ) I used the money to buy lunch at school and pay to have my nails done.

46. I moved into my Nana's house when I turned 18..... She wanted me to help her do things like bathe my Papa. I couldn't help her and she kicked me out of her house with nowhere else to go during 2 months before graduation. I went to my friend Travis' house. His family took me in. I did everything I could to help out around the house and chipped in all the money from my college bonds to buy my share of groceries. I should not have left their house when I graduated. I should have gotten a job and used the money to help us all move into a bigger apt. or a house.

47. I did the make-up and hair for all of my friends for senior prom. I got dressed up with them. I wore my choral formal, minus the white shoulder drape. I went to dinner with them. When the limo came to the restaurant to take them to prom.... I went home. I didn't have a date so I couldn't go. It didn't occur to me to ask one of my sophomore or freshman friends to take me so I could go. You had to go with a boy-girl couple. No same sex couples allowed. ( I wonder if that is still banned.)

48. I should not have graduated from high school. I should have gotten an F in senior English, and therefore flunked out of high school. I had failed to do my senior project in my English class cause the group home wouldn't let me go to the public library to get information that my high school library didn't have. The project was worth 70% of your grade. I got a 0% on it. I wrote an essay the last day of class for my teacher (who hated me cause I constantly corrected him. I could have taught the class better than he did.) telling him that I would see him next year. I wrote that I was going to apply to the school board to allow me to repeat 12th grade due to extenuating circumstances, and that I was going to request him as my English teacher. All of a sudden my grade in that class went from a 30% (an F-!) to a 70%. (a C!) I think I blackmailed a teacher!? Oops.

49. I danced for 6 straight hours with no break during my grad night. Jason apparently watched and waited for me to stop so that he could tell me how he felt. I saw him on the sidelines and waited for him to come dance with me so i could tell him how I felt. He left two days after graduation for boot camp. I moved in with Lacy.

50. My High School payed for my Grad Night ticket. My ex Jere got all of my friends and the people from choir to each give a dollar to buy me my yearbook. I was presented my yearbook on the last day of school by Jere during Choir. I cried. Alot.


I am going to start my juicy tidbits from childhood and work my way up to the present. You have been warned.

1. My first childhood memory is of a 3 or 4 year old me in a snowsuit in New York trying to cover my brother Orion in snow. He is 2 years younger than me. As far as I can remember, he was standing up and I was systematically covering him in snow so that my mom would mistake him for a snowman and leave him outside. I did not think she would notice that he was missing. This would eliminate so many problems for me... but alas, according to my memory, she caught me. Oh well. I like Orion just fine now, so I guess it worked out great.

2. I deeply wanted to be anything other than myself from a very young age. When we were living in LA (the city, not the state.) we had a black nanny. My mom used to have a nanny for us. They would live with us. (I don't remember ever having a nanny who didn't have kids.) Our black nanny had daughters. They were beautiful. They had those cute little twists in their hair with the little colorful plastic barrettes at the ends. I wanted to be black too. They were so much prettier than I was. So I started to include (silently) in my nightly prayers a request to be black by the time I woke up in the morning. This never happened. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized why...

3. I found out about the birds and the bees when I was 5. It was an accident involving my moms boyfriend at the time putting the wrong tape in the VCR. I thought I was turning on daffy duck cartoons. Not so much.

4. We left LA in the middle of the night. We threw everything we had into our car and the cars and trucks of a few trusted friends and ran. To Brea. I thought it was another state. It was only an hours drive. I didn't know why till I was much older. Turns out the boyfriend mentioned in #3 did something scary and so we disappeared.

5. One of the men who helped us move became my moms next boyfriend. He was an ass. He used to beat my brother and me when my mom left us alone with him. I used to put myself between him and Orion. Better me than him. I was bigger and stronger and already had a box I could hide in inside my head. So I got beaten and my mom never knew cause I was such a klutz that she believed me when I would tell her that I had fallen again. (mom if you ever read this, I am sorry that you found out this way, but there you go.)

6. One of the people who worked for our apartment complex that we lived in until my mom and step dad got married tried to rape me. He failed. When I realized what he was doing I kicked him in the balls and ran home to mommy while he laid on the floor wondering if I had burst one of his testicles. I told my mom what had happened. She told the apartment manager. I never saw him again.

7. I met my step dad, Gary, before my mom did. I had a huge crush on him. The moment my mom started dating him I stopped having a crush on him and desperately wanted him to be the dad my biological father never was. He did not disappoint me.

8. My mom and dad asked Orion and me for permission before they got married. We were of course thrilled.

9. My dad is my hero. He was young and could have lived up his young bachelorhood. Instead he fell in love with a woman 3-ish years his senior who already had 2 kids and he decided that he wanted to keep us. To my knowledge he has never regretted that choice. He has done all of the things I always dreamed a dad would do with/for me. As far as I am concerned he is my real dad.

10. I hated my elementary school. I was teased. They called me the brown cow. I was not a toothpick (although not fat. My childhood pictures are posted here) and I was brown. Brown skin, brown hair, brown eyes. I still hate the color brown to this day and I cried when my son called me a cow. (he saw it on a TV show and had no idea it was a bad thing to do. You should have seen his little heart break when I collapsed into tears on the floor.) Some wounds never heal.

11. My parents asked us if we would mind if they had another child before my mom had the surgery to reverse having her tubes tied. They wanted a baby. Inside I wanted to die cause I wasn't enough for them to be happy. On the outside I smiled brightly and asked if the baby could live in my room. I was in 4Th grade.

12. I was wanted to kill myself when mom told me she was pregnant and would I help her surprise daddy with the great news. I was in the 5Th grade. I helped with dinner. I did not attempt suicide.

13. I helped my parents remodel the house that they still live in. Mom was pregnant, so I had to help dad as much as I could. The house had pepto pink walls and tricolor tangerine shag carpet from the 60's. I loved every minute of helping. I want to buy a piece of crap house like my parents did and turn it into a beautiful family home like they did.

14. One day on the way home from church my parents were gushing on about how perfect the new baby was going to be. I felt sick. I quipped up from the backseat "what if she is not perfect? What if she comes out with no ears, or she is retarded, or she only has 9 toes. Do you really think it is fair to her for you to expect so much from her?"

15. I was home from school "sick" the day that my mom found out that she was going to have my sister two weeks early. My allergies were so bad that day that they sent me home. Mom had a leak in her amniotic sac. Not big enough for her water to just break... just enough for her to leak, and possibly let in a baby killing infection. I secretly hoped it was already to late.

16. My whole world changed the second I saw Rachel for the first time. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Even the large red birthmark on her face did not Mar the perfection that was Rachel. I was totally and completely in love and I would never look back. For a long time I hid the memories of my original hatred in the same box I used to hide in inside my head. I forgot about them until I was pregnant with Aeddon and I wondered if Alexander felt the way I had...

17. I wanted to hold Rachel in my arms at my 6Th grade graduation. I saw nothing wrong with having her in my arms as I walked across the stage. My mom said that maybe that was not the best idea. I didn't understand why at the time.

18. I loved sharing a room with my sister. If she would wake up in the middle of the night I would go pick her up and she would spend the rest of the night sleeping on my chest. Eventually, once she was old enough to climb in my bed herself, I would find her next to me every morning.

19. During the summer between 6Th and 7Th grade my Nana had several heart attacks. Mom Rachel and I went to Arkansas to help care for her. At one point my mom and I got in a fight and I barricaded myself in the room that I was staying in by putting the dresser in front of the door to the room. I fell asleep crying. Several hours later I woke up to my mom pounding on the door. I moved the dresser from in front of the door and opened the door. Mom was furious. Somehow the words "fuck you" had been scratched/written deeply into the wall of the room mom was staying in. I was blamed. I have no memory of doing it. I wonder if I moved the dresser in my sleep and vandalized and then put the dresser back. I still have no idea what really happened.

20. I had my first boyfriend in Jr high. His name was Jere. I snuck out of the house one day when I was left home alone (I was grounded) to go with him to see his brother do a civil war reenactment. There was a little carnival at the park that day. Jere and I went to the carnival instead. He never kissed me, except on the cheek. I thought I was unlovable. Turns out Jere was gay. He figured it out shortly after I dumped him for agreeing with me when we were having a fight and I sarcastically called my self a bitch. ( he did have one more girlfriend after me... but I think he already knew by then anyways...)

21. While Jere and I were still dating my dad caught us talking on the phone at 1am when he came downstairs to get a roll of toilet paper for their bathroom. I was still grounded at the time for sneaking out. Dad was so mad that he cut the phone line off deep inside the wall in my room. As far as I know it has still not been fixed.

22. During that year (8Th grade) I was in love with another boy. His name was Jason. I was going to tell him I loved him when he quite suddenly told me that he had a thing for my friend Mikki. I set them up as a couple and then told Jere I would date him while I was still totally in love with Jason. Mikki and Jason's relationship lasted longer than mine and Jere's did. Jason talked to me more than he did to Mikki the whole time they dated. I put together his birthday present that she gave him. When they broke up I told him how I felt. He informed me that he could not date me cause we were to good of friends and he needed me to badly to jeopardize that.

23. A few weeks latter Jason started dating my best friend secretly. When I found out I was devastated. I ended my friendships with both of them. Ginny and I made up at the end of that year when there relationship ended. I was still in love with Jason. He was oblivious.

24. I ran for student council for 9Th grade at the end of my 8Th grade year (You ran for student council at the end of Jr high so that you could go to student council camp in the summer.) I did not win. I don't even thing anybody voted for me. I didn't vote for me.

25. I walked at Jr. high graduation, but never received a "diploma". They thought I lost one of my text books and held my diploma hostage until I returned it or paid the $65 to replace it. I refused to pay for it cause I knew I had turned it in. My brother was assigned the book in question two years later. I never got my diploma, although my name was cleared when I went in to the office with my/Orion's book in tow and said "see I told you so!"

The next segment will be all about high school folks.... so stay tuned....

Inspiration from Franklin.

I have been spending a lot of time in the last few days (avoiding the reality that our whole life is going to change locations again) reading the blog known as The Panopticon. From the beggining. 622 posts to catch up to the present time. ( I have a thing about this that I will explain at some point, but not now lest I become distracted.) In the first year of his blog (2005, for the record.) he did a meme in which he listed 100 juicy tidbits of information about himself. He broke his up into 4 equal posts. I am inspired and shall do the same. Maybe someday if I am lucky he will see my blog and know that he inspired me to share 100 peices of my true self with the world, a task that scares me to death. It is much easier to keep the real me hidden and give you happy bits of fluff. But in honor of his amazing blog, I will expose myself to you. (not like that you perv!) My list will follow on a seperate post momentarily.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

I am in LOVE!

Ok... as soon as I finish this post... I promise that I will start (and finish) a post with some sort of content that actually has something to do with something other than a youtube gem. I promise. Until then.....

I am in love, Ladies and Gentlemen! Her name is Regina Spektor and she is a singer from New York. She reminds me of what would happen if Tori Amos and Fiona Apple had a love-child... ( I know it is not biologically possible... but this is my head damnit! SO either accept it or don't. I will remain deranged either way!)

These are my three favorite of her videos availiable on youtube....

1. Samson~ This song literally gives me the chills.... big fat goosebumps!

2. Fidelity~ So sweet. So poignantly accurate to the way Owen makes me feel!

3. Somedays~ This is not her official video. I do not believe that she has an official video for this particular song. This is a fan made video. Still effing amazing!

She also has a website, which can be found here.

Don't worry. She will not be replacing my beloved Tori in my heart, nor will she replace the Pumpkins..... Instead she will have her very own apartment in my heart, on the floor right under the floor containing the penthouse suites occupied by Tori and the Pumpkins.

See I told you I was in love, and when I love it is all or nothing.

Opinions, people, I need opinions!

Ok.... So at the beginning of June I cast on the Cashmere Arm Cosies from Lionbrand Yarn. I completed the first one...

and now I am stuck. I really like it. I love that the yarn that I used is varigated so from a distance you cant see the cable.

I think of it as an extra surprise detail for people who choose to get close enough to see it! Here is my problem. The cosy is opera length. I dont know how practical an opera length armwarmer is (I refuse to call it a cosy anymore.... cosies are something you put on a teapot or a mug... not an arm!) for me. I know that in a few weeks I will live in Washington, and that it is considerably more chilly there than it is here.... but still, opera lenth? are there alot of days when I will be comfy in a shortsleeved shirt if I have most of my arm covered (that would be nice since I really only own tanktops for the most part. Well tank tops and some empirewaisted 3/4 length sleeved tops.... and I wont be able to afford to fix my wardrobe right away) See here is my problem. I have two skeins of this yarn, which by the way is Goth Girl by Doodlebirds Creations in BFL worsted weight. I think that the first armwarmer took a little over half of the skein. Each skein is about 240 yards and I have (and used) a trim skein that matches that is 2oz of worsted weight yarn (yeah I have not been knitting long enough to know the yard aproximation on that one.) So here is the thing: if I keep going I will have to use a little of the other skein. I am worried that if I do that, I wont have enough of it to really make something worthwild..... unless I made a hat with a cabled border out of the trim skein and the body of the hat out of the varigated yarn.

Something like this hat, which I never finished. That way I would need slightly less than a full skein of the varigated yarn..... but I am just to new and unsure of a knitter to make a decisive choice on this. So please tell me your opinions, especially if you are a knitter, or live somewhere cooler than El Paso, Texas, or just have a really strong opinion about it....

Saturday, June 28, 2008

You know how sometimes....

the lyrics to a song just hit a cord in you at a certain point in your life?

well right now that song is Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. Go ahead and Youtube it if you want to. Here are the lyrics. (acutally if you click the title of the song... it will take you right to the video.)

I had visions, I was in them,
I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer
The rottenness and evil in me

Fingertips have memories,
Mine can't forget the curves of your body
And when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
(But no one ever does)

I'm not sick, but I'm not well
and I'm so hot 'cause I'm in hell

Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a TV

Put me in the hospital for nerves
And then they had to commit me
You told them all I was crazy
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee, Goddamn you

I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin, to live so well

I wanna publish 'zines
And rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivial sublime
I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind
You kill my mind

Paranoia, paranoia
Everybody's comin' to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm runnin' underground with the moles
Diggin' big holes
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me, whoa!

I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live this well

(One, two, three, four!)

Tell me what your song is and I will look it up.... or you can even post the lyrics or a youtube link to the song.... I would love to hear it!

Friday, June 27, 2008

You may or may not have noticed...

I took the music player off of automatic start. I thought some people might find it annoying.... so I put it on manual start. If you enjoyed my music player ( or Jaclyn's crapshoot radio as Owen calls it...) it is still there and all you have to do is hit the play button and it will start. Just thought I would let you know.

(also as a side note.... I know that I have already posted one blog today.... I may post several more as the night progresses... it just feels like one of those nights. You have been warned! Love you!)

And now for something completely different.

A man with a tape recorder up his nose.

Seriously. I love that skit and it makes me laugh every time. So there.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Myself through Flickr Meme...

Jessica over at Yarnmonster posted a Flickr Meme. For some reason I felt the need to participate. Well anyways here it is.... my mosaic:

Flickr Meme.

The rules:

Using fd’s Flickr Toys,

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker).

The Questions:

1. What is your first name? Jaclyn
2. What is your favorite food? Shrimp Scampi
3. What high school did you go to? Brea, California
4. What is your favorite color? Purple
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
6. Favorite drink? Chai Tea Latte, with Vanilla.
7. Dream vacation? Greek Isles
8. Favorite dessert? Creme Brulee
9. What you want to be when you grow up? Serene and Blissful
10. What do you love most in life? Dreams
11. One Word to describe you. Multi-faceted
12. Your flickr name. jaclynbailey

Tag yourself if you want to play! If you do decide to play, let me know by leaving me a comment with the link to your blog or flickr page so I can see!

Vocab Quiz

Take the quiz... but dont cheat by looking up the answers to questions that you are unsure of..... I would love it if you would leave your results in my comments so I can see how you did!

Your Vocabulary Score: A

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!

You must be quite an erudite person.